Imagine
You and your wife are cruising down the Nicaraguan No.1 highway at 80 km/hr, minding your own business, and 2 armed Policia flag you down. As far as you can tell, there's no good reason to be stopped. You're on the outskirts of Managua, a city not known for it's open-armed welcome to foreigners and the local area is poor and depressed. You're tired because of the late night partying in the hacienda you stayed in, and the 4:30 am wakeup call that gets the country moving. You're a little stressed about the budget due to a bad car battery. It's hot. You're thirsty. You can get by with the language, but you don't have the skills to verbally maneuver your way out of a tough spot. What do you do?
Well, pull over for a start - that's the obvious. But who says what in the car? Do you get out? Do you hand over passports? Maybe your wallet? Maybe you can make a feeble joke, or maybe you've got the resolve to muster up a disarming smile. You both know that you're not walking away from this without a lighter pocket book. And you're both hoping that a lighter pocket book is the worst that's going to happen. There is no time to plan a story or to practice your Spanish. This is life, the real deal, unscripted, and there's no right answer.
Solidarity
You have to meet these situations with solidarity. You both have to agree, no, you have to have already agreed on your actions. The only way to do this is to have your roles clearly defined.
Raenelle and I have a Captain. Yes, like on a ship. What the Captain says, goes. All other ships officers and mates fall in line accordingly, in nothing less than a supporting role. Being a Captain is not a power trip, but rather a guide for your ship and crew to ensure everyone's safety and security. At least to the best of your ability.
Of course Captains make mistakes. But the point is that when there is no time for discussion, and showing your cards or showing indecision could mean the difference between winning or losing, someone has to lead, and someone has to support. And when anyone makes a mistake, it's ok - the goal is not perfection, the goal is to get by, and always have a way to deal with problems.
A Successful Team
So how did this story end? We were in the middle of some silly argument (we were tired, hot, and frustrated, and both in the same vehicle). I saw the policemen first. I looked at Raenelle, and that was it. The look of "drop what we're doing, and get into defense position". Something like Optimus Prime might do to his crew of car and truck robots before transforming into some mega machine..."Autobots-Transform!" (Yes I grew up in the '80s). So, the argument fell away, and the police came up to the window. I told Raenelle "I'll talk - I'll let you know if I need any help."
I got out of the truck, and did muster up what I thought to be a disarming smile. I felt secure enough to ask Raenelle to stay where she was, not move, but to guard our belongings. The 3 of us walked to the back of the vehicle, where had a brief but open discussion about the morality of bribing, how police need a certain salary, how the government doesn't pay it, how travellers like us probably have more than we need. Raenelle, squirming while she could only imagine what might be going on, did as we had agreed, and stayed put.
The police and I agreed upon a suitable fine, and I called to Raenelle to produce the dues. We all shook hands, and walked away, a mildly lighter pocketbook, and everyone involved in excellent health. Raenelle and I forgot the argument we had, but instead felt the surge of adrenaline and strength you get from successful victory.
